Hi, I'm Lauren Fairchild.
And I know exactly what it feels like to feel sexually rejected by the person who you love and trust the most.
It's such an interesting thing - living with my husband, having such an amazing and supportive relationship together, everyone saying we're the best couple... but there was one big gap that was creating such a void within my soul.
I was being sexually rejected.
Now the first half of our relationship was not like this at all. There was no rejection in sight! Quite the opposite.
He was very sexual and we had the hottest sex life.
But as time went on, I kept my high sex drive. He did not.
Then the feelings of rejection, blame and shame hit.
And the more it happened, the more that void was created inside me.
I must not be desirable anymore. I must not be sexy enough. Maybe if I did 'this' it would be better. Let me plan a date night.
Nothing worked. Sometimes we got a bit of momentum, before dropping back to nothing.
I think the most confusing part is that we love each other so much. We have so much fun together. He supports me so much. And we DO have the best relationship...
Then I realised: we're in the FRIEND zone!
And I felt so silly being upset about not having sex when everything else in our marriage was so great... but then I realised, sex is more then just the physical act.
It is connection.
It is desirability.
It is sexual confidence.
By trying not to worry about not having as much sex as I wanted, I was actually shunning that side of me. That sexual side of my identity that is so important.
Plus even if I didn't want to feel it - that rejection, blame and shame was still there underneath everything.
So I knew something had to change.
I'm not going to tell you it happened overnight. But I will tell you what's true.
When I stopped waiting for him to make me feel desired,
when I stopped measuring my worth in his initiations and started owning my own desire and desirability, everything shifted.
Not just with me.
Between us.
We found a new rhythm. One that feels balanced and equal. Where he initiates just as much as I do. Where I don't wait, I don't beg, I don't manipulate situations hoping he'll notice.
Because I already know I'm sexy and desirable. I'm already in touch with my true sexual nature and my identity as a sexual woman.
I don't need him to confirm it anymore. And that knowing?
That's what changed the dynamic completely.
That shift changed everything. Not just in my marriage. But in my confidence as a woman in all aspects of my life.
And I built Ignite Desire because every woman deserves to feel that.
Not a perfect sex life.
But a life where she is whole, desired by herself first, and completely free from the prison of rejection and blame.
I've lived this work from the inside out. And now I walk women through it.
You don't have to figure this out alone anymore.